Nose Balloons: The Next Big Thing.

I swear, by March everyone will have them.
Normal balloons are just so 2010.
Even those long balloons that make a big weeeeeeeeee noise when you let them go, they're really last season. Munchkin knows it - just look at the disappointment on her face.

I've managed to get hold of a hot-off-the-press photo of the latest trend. The quality isn't great because Mr pickledweasel was laughing so much he couldn't hold the camera still it was at a top secret location, and they were taken using a hidden camera, they're that exclusive.

I know you're dying to get your hands on one, so I'll let you into a little secret. You can buy them online from net-a-porter, or if you're lucky enough you'll be diagnosed with glue ear (a condition so exclusive it's normally reserved for children under the age of 9), and you'll get them on prescription. Remember, you heard it here first!