If there's one thing I'm good at, it's guilt. I feel guilty 80% of the time. And the other 20% I'm asleep. Is it a female thing? I asked mr pickledweasel whether he feels guilty about things and he just looked at me strangely and asked if I'd been on a major fabric buying spree and was trying to confess :)
I feel guilty for crafting. Because the living room is messy / the bathroom needs cleaning / there's a huge pile of ironing / I haven't read any grown-up books for ages / I don't watch the news any more. I feel guilty for doing housework because it's time not spent with Munchkin. I feel guilty for spending time with Munchkin because I never do any housework.
I feel guilty for taking my college course, because it costs £150 and I don't have much money. I feel guilty for not doing my college course homework because the course cost £150.
I feel guilty for not buying Munchkin annoying electronic 'educational' toys when I see how much she enjoys playing with them in hospital waiting rooms. I feel guilty for going out and buying Munchkin an annoying electronic 'educational' toy because it is plastic and uses batteries. I buy a second hand one from a charity shop and it eases the guilt somewhat :)
I feel guilty for blogging. Because it takes up time. Because I'll often sack off doing other (more important?) things and write a blog post instead. Because deep down I know I only do it for attention. I like it when people comment. When they 'follow' me. I want people to say, 'Ooooh, look what you made / said aren't you clever / funny!' And that makes me feel guilty, because I think that maybe I shouldn't need to seek validation from random strangers on the interweb.
So I'm making a few changes. I won't blog every day. I'll try and focus on quality rather than quantity - two posts a week at most. That way I can do a few tutorials, book reviews, give you hints and tips from my college course, rather than just post pictures of Munchkin and wait for the compliments to flood in. I was getting bogged down by trying to blog frequently, and not thinking about whether my posts offered any value to my 'readership' (*waves* hello readership!).
Hopefully you'll notice an improvement in my photography skills as well - I'm trying to take well lit photographs so that my blog looks 'proper' (although a lot of things I need to do this are on my Christmas list, so it might be January before you notice an improvement :). If I'm going to blog (and still feel guilty about it) then I'd better do it well :D
All this thinking and changing and trying not to feel so guilty has been brought about by a fabulous online course I signed up to about blogging, run by the amazingly wonderful Sister Diane, she of CraftyPod fame. It's really made me think about what my blog is for, and changed my perspectives a lot.
In the meantime I'm sure I'll find something else to feel guilty about in the place of blogging. Biscuits, not replying to emails straight away, forgetting birthdays, buying new moisturiser before I've finished the old one, wanting shoes, not exercising.... the list is endless :)
