*Beepitty beep beep beepitty beep bing bing* (news jingly music)
We are bringing you breaking news from East Lancashire. Earlier today it was discovered that a brand new magic fabric shop has opened its doors in Rossendale. Pickledweasel, mother of one, spoke to us earlier today with her account of its discovery:
'It's amaaaaazing. Just like the original magic fabric shop, but a lot more orderly and with less stuff, and it's only 5 minutes drive from me rather than a trek halfway across the county. I bought all this fabric and it only cost £9.40!'
Eyewitnesses reported dress fabrics being sold for as little as £1.00 per yard, Irish linens for £3.00 a yard, and remnants for as little as 50p.
It's feared that the presence of a new magic fabric shop in the area will increase rates of fabric hoarding by up to 73%. Rossendale Council have already received a strongly worded letter of protest about the opening of the shop from a Mr Pickledweasel.
And now, the weather.....